However.

The embassy was in the middle of an insane renovation.

The entire foreign service was changing the way it processed foreign birth registrations.

Henry’s name was too long for their new system and everything went pear shaped.

So, although we submitted our paperwork to the Embassy three months before traveling, we were issued only an emergency passport the day before we were due to travel.  And THAT was only good for a year.

Yipee!  I get to do this all over again! thought I, as I received the news.

Well, it’s already one year on, and thus time for his second round of passport applications.

I was going to suck it up and take him to get his passport photo taken at the shop where they would have ROBBED ME BLIND (19 euros they would have charged!  Insanity!), but then a blizzard hit.  And the blizzard made me think twice about bundling up and heading out when not extremely necessary.

Besides which, am I a photographer or am I a photographer?  If I can’t take my kid’s own passport photo, then I’m not worth much.

The trouble being that Olli wasn’t home and we didn’t have his booster seat to lock him into place.  This meant that Henry was going to need to SIT STILL on his own long enough for me to get his photo taken.

And, I’m sure you know, they’re rather particular about the photos.

The person must face forward, for one.

Face forward with both ears showing.

Hands need to be down.

I said hands need to be down.

No smiling.  Or evil grins for that matter.

Yes, Henry.  Just like this.

For the next five years, his beautiful passport photo will remind me of one of the coldest, snowiest days of the year.  I’ll remember a white sheet thrown over the back of the couch, and an impossibly adorable little boy making my heart melt.

And I saved 19 euros.

People who are the oldest children in the family tend to be quieter, more cautious, more reserved, more responsible.  I’m not saying EVERY eldest child is like this, but that is the trend.

The youngest is usually louder, more demanding, and more independent.

And this is because they MUST be.  If they want to be heard, they’ve got to scream.  If they want something, they’ve got to take it before it’s gone.  And since Mom is too stinkin’ busy taking care of everyone else, well they’ve just got to entertain themselves.

Henry is all of these things.  Loud, demanding, and independent.

Oh, so independent.

He will sit quietly and play all by himself long enough for me to vacuum the whole house, clean the bathroom, and get lunch ready.

And I feel TERRIBLE about it.  Of course I want him to be independent.  I want him to be able to think for himself.  I want him to have his own imagination and own ideas.  But I feel HORRIBLE that he’s so independent at such a young age, because I’m too busy/bored/whatever to play with him.

I think it’s safe to say I’ve not much improved with my Happiness Project when it comes to playing with my kids…  February might be the month to tackle that.

Backlight is exactly what it sounds like- lighting your photo from the back.  It means shooting INTO the sun.  It means your background might be rather bright, but your subject is lit well.

Here are some examples:

Some benefits of backlighting your photos:

1.  If your subject is looking at you, then they are facing away from the sun.  No squinty eyes from looking INTO the sun.  Lovely, natural faces.

2.  Beautiful pastel tones.

3.  Convenient.  There isn’t always a huge rock or building to provide open shade.  You don’t have to put away your camera just because the light is too intense.  Just backlight.

Jose Villa- a brilliant, brilliant photographer- takes it one step further when he backlights.  He tries to get something behind his subjects to break up the sun- branches from a tree, a fence, whatever.  Just so the backlighting isn’t so dramatic.

For instance:

Things to remember when backlighting your photos:

1.  You need to expose for the face.  You need to expose for the face.  YOU NEED TO EXPOSE FOR THE FACE.  This means that no matter what is going on in the background- no matter how bright it is- the subject’s face needs to be properly lit.  If your subject’s face is too dark, it’s just not going to look good.

2.  Sometimes properly exposing for your subject means you have to sacrifice the background, which is something I don’t mind doing AT ALL.  For instance:

The sea is behind my groom.  But because I wanted his face to be well lit, I had to sacrifice the blue of the sea.  I don’t care.  I love my groom.  He looks great.  I’d sacrifice the sea again in a heartbeat so he’d look good.

(Sidenote:  if you want both to be exposed properly, you’d use your flash or a reflector- great if you can find a natural reflector like pavement or sand.  But that’s a whole different post, because now I’ve just confused you, haven’t I?)

The way to make sure your subject is lit properly is switch the settings on your camera to SPOT METERING.  Look it up in your manual.  What SPOT METERING does is it gauges the light of your focus area.  It doesn’t matter if it’s bright as the Fourth of July behind your subject- it’ll sense the light reflecting off of your subject only.  That way the face will be properly exposed no matter what the rest of your photo is doing.

I hope I’ve answered more questions than I’ve created with this post.  If anything is unclear, you know where to find me!

Anyway, this last weekend, I happened to have my camera when we went to visit the Natural History Museum in Helsinki.  And I’m very glad I did.

Ever since I started learning how to take photos, I’ve tried to pretend like I’m shooting for REAL.  Like, I’m shooting for a magazine or a newspaper or a website (this actually causes quite a bit of stress for me, and might also be another reason I stopped bringing my camera everywhere), because hopefully someday I WILL shoot for a magazine or a newspaper or a website.

And yesterday, at the Natural History Museum (which is totally fascinating, by the way, and is totally worth seeing), I shot for REAL.  Especially the Gigantasaurus (which is bigger than a T-Rex, by the way- one of the many interesting facts I learned yesterday.  I also learned a hyena is a cat- not a dog, there was a relative of the elephant which lived underwater (the sea cow, now extinct)

and a one-horned whale (a narwhal) is a real animal that exists today).

Gigantasaurus skeletons are very photogenic.

I also liked the looks of the reindeer looking thing.  Although I didn’t have time to check if he was really a reindeer.  But whatever the animal, it sure looked regal.

I really, really want to go back.  This time with both lenses and withOUT any kids.

Each week, it’s a new kind.  Oatmeal pancakes, pumpkin pancakes, gingerbread pancakes, blueberry pancakes, whole grain pancakes, pecan pancakes- the options, really, are endless.

This week we had plain old buttermilk pancakes.  But with a homemade buttermilk syrup on top, which was not plain old.

I’m pretty sure this is how traditions are started.  You just get up one day and do something.  And then the next time, you do it again.  I hope as time goes on and my kids grow, we will continue to make Pancake Morning a tradition.  And I also hope that all the calories ingested from this tradition magically disappear.

It’s good to have realistic hopes.

And the winner of the Bridal Portrait Giveaway is… Sarah Kåll!  Congratulations, Sarah (what a great name!) !

Remember, a Bridal Portrait Session is a two hour session before or after the actual wedding day.  It’s a time when the bride and groom can focus on each other and not worry if the cake has arrived, if Aunt Melda has hit the cocktails too hard, if the DJ will have the perfect songs.

I offer Bridal Portrait Sessions as well as full day wedding coverage.  My price list can be found here.

If you’d like to book your own Bridal Portrait Session or Wedding, contact me at sarah@pikkuarkki.com or call 050 349 4460.

Tried the flash out on Henry.  Got some interesting results.

Without flash:  One sad little boy, looking quite pathetic.  Overall atmosphere quiet post-nap tears.  Sweet.  Sad and sweet.  But somehow calm.

With flash:  One sad little boy, perhaps sadder due to flash?  Overall atmosphere bright, loud, energetic.  Still sweet.  But loud and sweet.

Of course the expressions are different in each.  But I also think the light really changes the feeling of the picture.  I like them both.  It’s just different.  This flash thing is going to take some getting used to.

More practice coming tomorrow…

Ps. Tears caused by the desperate need to poop.  It’s tough to be a 16 month old.

Pps.  16 months TODAY!  Also, Henry’s name day!  Happy Name Day, Henry!

But not yet.

Now they’re just dueling over the same cookie.

Like I said before, the premise of the book is pretty simple.  Gretchen, the author, looks around and says, “My life is great, why am I so miserable?”  And so she sets out methodically trying new ways to be happy.  She divides the year into 12 categories- focusing on 12 different aspects of her life that she wants to improve.  She wants to focus on being a better mother one month, a better wife, a better businesswoman.  She wants to focus on having more fun, trying new hobbies.  She wants to take care of herself better, stop bad habits, be more organized, be present in the moment.

And she sets up a chart with specific goals and checks things off at the end of each day.

Now that is just a bit too organized for me- she’s way more structured than I could ever be.  And since throughout her book she stresses the importance of “Being Gretchen” (i.e. being true to herself), I realized that my Happiness Project could never look like hers.  I love order, I love organization, I love charts and graphs and checking things off my to-do list.  But I’m inherently scatterbrained, disorganized, and messy.  You can usually see how I’ve spent my day by the little messes I’ve made in my wake.

And yet, her book still spoke to me.

She made me finally understand the notion of figuring out who you are and accepting yourself.  Until this book, I’ve always thought that was new age hogwash.  But she broke it down.

She realized she’d never be someone who liked the opera, would be the life of the party, or would be constantly optimistic.  And she accepts that WHILE AT THE SAME TIME realizing that she’s going to have to push herself.

I think this was one of the best messages from the book- we have to be true to ourselves, realize our limitations, but within those limitations, there’s room for growth.  We can’t just say, “I just don’t like eating healthy.  Therefore I’m going to accept that fact about me and never eat healthy foods.”  We have to say, “Okay, I’m not stoked about a bowlful of broccoli, but maybe I could substitute this bag of chips for an apple.”  (My lame example- not hers.  She’s more eloquent.)

And so I took a look at myself.  And I thought about who I am.  Strengths and weaknesses.

Strengths:  honest, forgiving, appropriately silly, welcoming, relaxed, creative

Weaknesses:  impatient, disorganized, headstrong, snippy (especially with the man I love the most- honestly, I wonder how Olli puts up with me sometimes)

There are more, I’m sure, but you get the idea.

So, I’ve had to somehow come to terms with my weaknesses in real life.  For example, due to my disorganization I’d make a TERRIBLE club treasurer or secretary (even though I’d really like to be a good one), but I can do something creative like newsletter editor.  I can’t, however, just say, “I’m disorganized, so I can’t do anything.  My house will always be a mess and my life will be madness.”  While accepting I’ll never be Peter Walsh, I can try to make sure unpaid bills are in the same place, my computer files are easy to find, unneeded junk finds its way to the bin.

Reading this book also helped me let go of the guilt I carried around for being unhappy.  I was unhappy, even though things in my life were GOOD.  Great, even.  And I knew I SHOULD be happy, so I was so guilty for NOT feeling happy.  So, then I was unhappy and guilt-ridden.  And that’s not helpful.

This post is long enough, so I won’t go into deep detail about the rest of the book.  I’ll just briefly list the things that really spoke to me:

-Identify the problem.
-Happiness is the presence of good and the absence of bad in an atmosphere of growth.
-Know and accept who you are, but push yourself within your own limitations.
-If you’re tired, go to sleep.
-Being happy is a choice.  And it’s tough to choose happiness.  And even tougher not to show how tough it is.
-The opposite of depression isn’t happiness.  Depression is a whole different thing.

Tomorrow, I’ll be listing some goals in MY Happiness Project.  New year, new goals, new happiness.

And now a photo:

Caption:  Sunshine and no snow.  Let’s hope this perfect weather holds for the rest of 2012.  Happy New Year!