The Happiness Project- Part 1
Before, when discussing my existential crisis, I briefly mentioned the book The Happiness Project. If you haven’t yet checked out the Happiness Project Blog, do so now. And then buy the book. And then read it. Slowly. And then reflect on it.
Like I said before, the premise of the book is pretty simple. Gretchen, the author, looks around and says, “My life is great, why am I so miserable?” And so she sets out methodically trying new ways to be happy. She divides the year into 12 categories- focusing on 12 different aspects of her life that she wants to improve. She wants to focus on being a better mother one month, a better wife, a better businesswoman. She wants to focus on having more fun, trying new hobbies. She wants to take care of herself better, stop bad habits, be more organized, be present in the moment.
And she sets up a chart with specific goals and checks things off at the end of each day.
Now that is just a bit too organized for me- she’s way more structured than I could ever be. And since throughout her book she stresses the importance of “Being Gretchen” (i.e. being true to herself), I realized that my Happiness Project could never look like hers. I love order, I love organization, I love charts and graphs and checking things off my to-do list. But I’m inherently scatterbrained, disorganized, and messy. You can usually see how I’ve spent my day by the little messes I’ve made in my wake.
And yet, her book still spoke to me.
She made me finally understand the notion of figuring out who you are and accepting yourself. Until this book, I’ve always thought that was new age hogwash. But she broke it down.
She realized she’d never be someone who liked the opera, would be the life of the party, or would be constantly optimistic. And she accepts that WHILE AT THE SAME TIME realizing that she’s going to have to push herself.
I think this was one of the best messages from the book- we have to be true to ourselves, realize our limitations, but within those limitations, there’s room for growth. We can’t just say, “I just don’t like eating healthy. Therefore I’m going to accept that fact about me and never eat healthy foods.” We have to say, “Okay, I’m not stoked about a bowlful of broccoli, but maybe I could substitute this bag of chips for an apple.” (My lame example- not hers. She’s more eloquent.)
And so I took a look at myself. And I thought about who I am. Strengths and weaknesses.
Strengths: honest, forgiving, appropriately silly, welcoming, relaxed, creative
Weaknesses: impatient, disorganized, headstrong, snippy (especially with the man I love the most- honestly, I wonder how Olli puts up with me sometimes)
There are more, I’m sure, but you get the idea.
So, I’ve had to somehow come to terms with my weaknesses in real life. For example, due to my disorganization I’d make a TERRIBLE club treasurer or secretary (even though I’d really like to be a good one), but I can do something creative like newsletter editor. I can’t, however, just say, “I’m disorganized, so I can’t do anything. My house will always be a mess and my life will be madness.” While accepting I’ll never be Peter Walsh, I can try to make sure unpaid bills are in the same place, my computer files are easy to find, unneeded junk finds its way to the bin.
Reading this book also helped me let go of the guilt I carried around for being unhappy. I was unhappy, even though things in my life were GOOD. Great, even. And I knew I SHOULD be happy, so I was so guilty for NOT feeling happy. So, then I was unhappy and guilt-ridden. And that’s not helpful.
This post is long enough, so I won’t go into deep detail about the rest of the book. I’ll just briefly list the things that really spoke to me:
-Identify the problem.
-Happiness is the presence of good and the absence of bad in an atmosphere of growth.
-Know and accept who you are, but push yourself within your own limitations.
-If you’re tired, go to sleep.
-Being happy is a choice. And it’s tough to choose happiness. And even tougher not to show how tough it is.
-The opposite of depression isn’t happiness. Depression is a whole different thing.
Tomorrow, I’ll be listing some goals in MY Happiness Project. New year, new goals, new happiness.
And now a photo:
Caption: Sunshine and no snow. Let’s hope this perfect weather holds for the rest of 2012. Happy New Year!
Posted by sarah | 1 comments
