Like I said before, the premise of the book is pretty simple.  Gretchen, the author, looks around and says, “My life is great, why am I so miserable?”  And so she sets out methodically trying new ways to be happy.  She divides the year into 12 categories- focusing on 12 different aspects of her life that she wants to improve.  She wants to focus on being a better mother one month, a better wife, a better businesswoman.  She wants to focus on having more fun, trying new hobbies.  She wants to take care of herself better, stop bad habits, be more organized, be present in the moment.

And she sets up a chart with specific goals and checks things off at the end of each day.

Now that is just a bit too organized for me- she’s way more structured than I could ever be.  And since throughout her book she stresses the importance of “Being Gretchen” (i.e. being true to herself), I realized that my Happiness Project could never look like hers.  I love order, I love organization, I love charts and graphs and checking things off my to-do list.  But I’m inherently scatterbrained, disorganized, and messy.  You can usually see how I’ve spent my day by the little messes I’ve made in my wake.

And yet, her book still spoke to me.

She made me finally understand the notion of figuring out who you are and accepting yourself.  Until this book, I’ve always thought that was new age hogwash.  But she broke it down.

She realized she’d never be someone who liked the opera, would be the life of the party, or would be constantly optimistic.  And she accepts that WHILE AT THE SAME TIME realizing that she’s going to have to push herself.

I think this was one of the best messages from the book- we have to be true to ourselves, realize our limitations, but within those limitations, there’s room for growth.  We can’t just say, “I just don’t like eating healthy.  Therefore I’m going to accept that fact about me and never eat healthy foods.”  We have to say, “Okay, I’m not stoked about a bowlful of broccoli, but maybe I could substitute this bag of chips for an apple.”  (My lame example- not hers.  She’s more eloquent.)

And so I took a look at myself.  And I thought about who I am.  Strengths and weaknesses.

Strengths:  honest, forgiving, appropriately silly, welcoming, relaxed, creative

Weaknesses:  impatient, disorganized, headstrong, snippy (especially with the man I love the most- honestly, I wonder how Olli puts up with me sometimes)

There are more, I’m sure, but you get the idea.

So, I’ve had to somehow come to terms with my weaknesses in real life.  For example, due to my disorganization I’d make a TERRIBLE club treasurer or secretary (even though I’d really like to be a good one), but I can do something creative like newsletter editor.  I can’t, however, just say, “I’m disorganized, so I can’t do anything.  My house will always be a mess and my life will be madness.”  While accepting I’ll never be Peter Walsh, I can try to make sure unpaid bills are in the same place, my computer files are easy to find, unneeded junk finds its way to the bin.

Reading this book also helped me let go of the guilt I carried around for being unhappy.  I was unhappy, even though things in my life were GOOD.  Great, even.  And I knew I SHOULD be happy, so I was so guilty for NOT feeling happy.  So, then I was unhappy and guilt-ridden.  And that’s not helpful.

This post is long enough, so I won’t go into deep detail about the rest of the book.  I’ll just briefly list the things that really spoke to me:

-Identify the problem.
-Happiness is the presence of good and the absence of bad in an atmosphere of growth.
-Know and accept who you are, but push yourself within your own limitations.
-If you’re tired, go to sleep.
-Being happy is a choice.  And it’s tough to choose happiness.  And even tougher not to show how tough it is.
-The opposite of depression isn’t happiness.  Depression is a whole different thing.

Tomorrow, I’ll be listing some goals in MY Happiness Project.  New year, new goals, new happiness.

And now a photo:

Caption:  Sunshine and no snow.  Let’s hope this perfect weather holds for the rest of 2012.  Happy New Year!

But skating with Benjy for the first time was magical.  We took turns holding him up.  Took turns fetching his puck.  Took turns picking him off the ice.  Took turns laughing.

And took turns marveling at the smallest skater on the ice and his unquenchable enthusiasm for the sport of hockey.

Being there, on that ice, was also important for me- for my journey into understanding Finland.  I’ve lived here for well over 7 years now, and yet this was the first time in 12 years I’d gone ice skating.  I bought my first pair of ice skates ever right along Benjy.

Ice skating on that outdoor rink made me hate winter a little less.

Surrounded by all these Finnish kids, who are raised on the ice, who live, breath, eat, sleep, and bleed hockey- watching them as they flew from one end of the rink to the other, deftly maneuvering  around each other, shooting the puck between themselves- I understood how this small nation can have the best hockey team in the world.

I felt a part of something.  It was a strange feeling- knowing that some of these 7 year old will go on to be famous international stars- and knowing that Benjy had his first skate among them.

Our first snowfall.  And if I have anything to say about it, our last.

Photographing snow can be difficult, because it often covers things that give you a reference for how much snow there is.  I mean, when I say the snow goes up to our fence that doesn’t mean a whole lot, because I can’t show how high the fence is.  Or if I say it’s piled 3 meters high, it’s difficult to imagine that 3 meters.

So, I’ve decided to take a very un-artistic photo of our front door.  Because, unless you believe we’re a house of dwarfs, the house can effectively demonstrate just how much snow we’ve had.

We’ve had to dig a tunnel to our front door.  The outside storage has been rendered useless, because we can’t get to the door.  And with all the thawing and refreezing, it’s now just a giant block of ice.  It’s miserable and just may never melt.

Confession:  The right side of the photo has so much snow because it’s covering our patio table and chairs.  Oh, and a lawn gnome.  This lawn gnome.

But that doesn’t discount the fact that we’ve had A LOT OF SNOW.  Is it spring yet?

Alas, while I did get shots of others’…

All I managed to get of my own was this:

Because as soon as Santa arrived, we had a total Christmas meltdown.  TOTAL. MELTDOWN.

Benjy started shaking and screaming in the corner.  He wouldn’t even sit in the same room as Santa- we had to go to the FAR END of the other room, where he could hear nothing of the jolly fat man.

I tried to get him to sit with Olli while I ran in and got some quick pics, but three minutes later both kids were screaming.

Poor Olli- he gets father of the year for smiling through this.

But last week, after preaching to you lot for so long about finding the light, I finally took my own advice.

Benjy came home from daycare.  In a sled.  As in, I pulled him home in a sled.

This was because when he left for daycare that morning, it had been snowing all night and *HUGE SURPRISE* the snowplows hadn’t yet graced us with their presence (*That* in case you were wondering was sarcasm at its fullest.  I cannot and will not understand how a country so besieged with horrible winter conditions does not have an efficient and effective plowing system.  This will be a gripe of mine throughout winter- you can bet on it).

And so, Olli did what any other Finnish parent would do- he forewent the pram in favor of a blue plastic sled.  A blue plastic sled lined with a lambskin mat for warmth, of course.  It’s unbelievably easier to pull a sled than to push wheels- no matter how big- through unplowed or semi-plowed snow.

Since Olli had dropped him off in a sled, I brought him home in a sled.  Me, a Phoenician, pulling her son home in a sled.

Of course Benj in a sled is too cute for words, so as soon as we got home, I ran inside and grabbed my camera.

And I took this.  Straight out of the camera (SOOC):

And then I looked at the viewer and thought, Wow.  Benjy’s skin looks really dark.  But the snow is so white- what’s wrong?

Oh, silly Sarah.  Silly, silly Sarah.  Benjy is facing North!  Away from where the sun is most certainly shining behind 2108 layers of clouds.  Turn him to face SOUTH!  Towards where the sun must be!  Again, SOOC:

So. Much. Better.

And then play around with framing and make him laugh and add a bit more contrast in Photoshop (but not a whole lot) and get this one:

And they’re not edible.

Basically, I wanted a stroller that would do it all- carry my kids comfortably, be easy to push, be easy to fold up, easy to get on and off public transportation, and easy to get through the snow.

After weighing the pros and cons of most every type of double stroller available on two continents, including the Mutsy Duo, the Jane Powertwin Pro (which was the option I was most considering), the Phil and Ted’s, the Baby Trend Sit ‘n Stand (which I actually think is the best designed double stroller IF ONLY they’d come with big wheels), Graco Quattro Duo, iCandy Pear, the Kees Tandem, the Britax B-Dual, the Safety First DuoDeal- and after actually buying and then returning the Mutsy Duo and the Baby Trend Sit ‘n Stand AND after checking out a used Jane Powertwin Pro AND AND AND after inquiring about importing several strollers- we finally found this:

The Z-Line Twin Rider from Lastentarvike. It’s a decent stroller. For now, Henry lies beneath and Benjy sits in the jump seat above him. When Henry is able to sit up, he’ll be placed in the jump seat below the main seat, and Benjy will sit in the main seat above him.

It’s stream-lined, the front wheels rotate, I can fit it on the old trams and trains (a problem, since there’s a giant bar in between the doors, so you’ve got to have a thin pram in order to fit), and we got it for the BARGAIN price of 200 euros (about 260 dollars). Now, for you Americans, that might seem expensive, but I assure you, it’s dirt cheap. The Jane Powertwin Pro, the stroller I nearly ordered before finding this one (which was, by the way on sale- the Z line was normally 350, but a store was closing down, so it was on clearance. My neighbor happened to see it and mentioned it in passing- BLESS YOU, ANU!! It was a steal!) cost upwards of 500 euros (over 650 dollars) plus shipping. I couldn’t believe my luck in finding the stroller. Seriously.

Recently, however, I’ve had the *opportunity* to test its viability in loads and loads of unplowed snow. Because, you guessed it, folks- winter has arrived early here in these parts. Oh, yes it has.

And Finns, after years and years of unruly winters, STILL have not found it necessary to plow effectively and efficiently. So, today, since I absolutely had to run errands (post office, grocery store, pick up Benjy from daycare) I plowed my own way through inches and inches of freshly fallen snow. Snow that had fallen ON TOP OF last week’s partially thawed then refrozen snow- aka ICE.

And let’s just give this stroller a giant FAIL when it comes to snow manueverability. To be fair, I’m not sure any stroller would have been less gruelling, apart from one that had skiis attached to it (Hey! Now there’s an idea!!! Why has no one made such an attachment for prams??!), but today I really reached my limit.

Standing outside Benjy’s daycare, dripping with sweat from the exertion in arriving and KNOWING it was only going to get worse on the way home, I strongly considered taking a taxi home.

I didn’t, of course. I just trudged on home, one painful foot in front of the other. Over the hills and valleys created by passing cars. I swore under my breath, I shouted at the snow plow that was PARKED on the side of the road (i.e. NOT PLOWING!), I heaved and hoed until I made it to my front door.

And I made it. Praise all things dry and warm, I made it.

Unfortunately, they were so small that they smushed his eyelashes against the lenses.

Nevermind.  He was still soooooooooo cool.

And I’m going to do it again right here in this post.  To tell the story of Benjy’s first walk in the snow.

You see, it finally warmed up to -2C/29F yesterday. And! *gasp* the sun was out!!!  And!  Benjy and I were totally going stir crazy!  So, I suited Benjy up, bundled myself properly (although I didn’t bundle too much.  After the FREEZING COLD winter we have, -2 feels like a heat wave, no joke), grabbed the dog, and headed for adventure.  It was to be Benjy’s first time let loose in winter.

I know lots of Finnish parents let their children roam free in -15C, but I’m really not one of them.  When it was so cold, Benjy was tucked safely in his little stroller sleeping bag, under about 100 layers of clothing.

And before winter had gotten so cold, I had tried letting Benjy wander when walking Hirvi, but he was such a new walker that he didn’t really get the concept.  He just stood there until I came to pick him up.

But now he was a man on a mission.

I’ll use a triptych to demonstrate.

He walked all over the stinkin’ place!  Until he fell.  And when he fell he was like a beached whale, like an upside-down turtle, like that kid in A Christmas Story (which Olli still hasn’t seen, btw).  But he didn’t get upset or frustrated.  He just spent a lot of time in downward dog, making this expression.  (Now for a diptych)

Does he or does he not look absolutely ridiculous?  Finally, I’d put down the camera and come rescue him.

And he’d get up and smile and walk some more.

(Shameless plug- now that you know all about diptychs, how about you enter Denise’s diptych photo competition?  Check it out here)